SRCS

It has been a while since my last post, but I have been going through a lot of transitioning and thinking. I always manage to put myself into situations where I wonder if I am making the right decision by embarking on my next journey. Then I think about what determines right and wrong, good or bad decisions. Then I finally realize, there are no bad decisions because I can learn from any choice I make. But now, I am back in the United States, and want nothing more than to leave again. It isn't the travel bug, or my way to escape life, but this just simply isn't where I want to be. Forget that fact that I don't believe in most of what our government is doing or supporting, but what I have come to notice is that people are generally unhappy here. It is unusual for me to see someone walking down the street, smiling. People don't just randomly get up and dance when they hear a song they like. They walk down the street clutching their jackets tight and with their heads down, staring sternly at the concrete in front of them. To me, that is no life. Of course every other nation has its wide range of problems from a crack epidemic to extreme poverty, but the people everywhere else that I have traveled seem to be enjoying the one thing they have. Life. Not all people in the U.S. are like my previous description, but it seems as most in the Northeast appear this way. They are afraid to let happiness in.

This brings me to the point I was originally trying to make before I started my rant...Is my internship in Maryland the right choice? When I was first told about this internship, I could not have been more excited. I was positive that I would be warn out from all of my traveling and I would want to be local. That was wrong. I applied as soon as I could, and accepted the job even quicker. Although I am a bit weary now, I know that I am going to have an amazing experience, work with incredibly intelligent people, and learn a lot about experiential-environmental education, something I am very passionate about. But for right now, the U.S mentality is not working out for me. Severe Reverse Culture Shock (SRCS) is my diagnosis.

SRCS is an illness experienced by those who understand and have experienced true happiness, and been forced to abandon it due to other plans and plane tickets that could not otherwise be neglected. The true happiness was abandoned due to life. Most Americans when traveling abroad will experience Culture Shock. They do not believe their eyes that the poverty they see on the television exists in real life. That never happened to me. I was always sort of aware of the whole world I am living in, not the bubble we call Bergen County, New Jersey.

Anyways, enough of my ranting. My last week in Brazil was amazing. There were tears, smiles and of course memories. On my last day volunteering in the orphanage, we took the kids to a local park so they could run around and enjoy the fresh air. They were so happy. In the car on the way back, Hiani, the baby girl that I wanted to adopt even fell asleep on my lap. It was so cute. We also stopped to pick up the older kids from school which was great! We had not seen them in over a week so it was nice to be able to say goodbye. When it was finally time to head back to the volunteer house, I was heartbroken. I couldn't hold back my tears, especially when older Natalino looked as if he was about to cry, his eyes swollen and red. I lost it right there and then. Tears began to flow. When we got back, we took a trip down to the beach for one last time. And when we came back, Mary and I did something we were waiting to do for the past seven weeks. We took some paint from the resource room, and made our handprints on the wall outside. Vini helped us by taking photographs and pointing out a great and unique place to leave our marks. Later that night, we had our final Brazilian fiesta by starting with sushi and finishing the night with a Motumba concert in Pelorinuho. We had an amazing night, followed my more goodbyes. Saying goodbye to Vini, and Lou, and Ivan, and Beto. Then of course, saying goodbye to Mary.

Many hours later, I wound up in San Jose, Costa Rica. I made it in one piece, but my suitcase and drum were both missing in Miami. I wasn't too bothered, reported it missing, and began the long car ride with my dad to the hotel. It was a beautiful place called El Silencio Lodge. They had individual cabins in the mountains, raised their own chickens for eggs, and grew their own vegetables. It was paradise. The next morning, we began our five hour trip to Arenal. The Springs Hotel was probably the nicest hotel I have ever stayed at. Of course my only complaint was the fact that it was cloudy and raining the entire time, so we did not even get to see the volcano. Our final stop was Manuel Antonio for a few days to explore the pristine beaches inside the national park, and of course see some monkeys. Overall, it was a nice side trip and very relaxing.

After one day at home, I decided enough was enough, and I hopped on a train to Boston to see my brother for a few days. I am leaving later tonight, but am first seeing some camp friends! I also managed to see one of my CITYterm friends yesterday for a while.

I want to try something new to conclude this post...list a few of my goals for the future:

1. Learn Portuguese
2. Go back to Brazil within the year speaking Portuguese
3. Enjoy Maryland and use my CITYterm experience to give Echo Hill new ideas
4. Stop slacking on my blog!

Tchau para agora...veou a meu fotos por favor!

PICTURES FROM COSTA RICA